Without Shame
by Kiwisilence
Summary: Tristan shouldn't have come here, but just like all of the other times, he couldn't resist Winston. Tristan/Winston slash. Chilligan.


This one-shot is a request for **76southgirl**. Make sure to check out her stories, like "Hello! Let Me Be Your Girl!"

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Tristan shouldn't have come here.

He was currently sitting on Winston's couch, tugging on the collar of the shorter teen's jacket to pull him in for a kiss. Winston's lips nipped his.

Winston was dating Frankie. Tristan should have know better. He shouldn't have come back, but just like all of the other times, he couldn't resist Winston. The shorter teen's lips were warm enough to melt him. Tristan had never embraced someone like this: so passionately despite how wrong is was.

He was helping Winston cheat on his girlfriend. It was wrong, especially since she was the sister of their friend, Miles. Despite that, he couldn't help but enjoy Winston.

For these brief moments, Tristan could just pretend that there was nothing complicated about them. He wanted to imagine that Winston never had a girlfriend; he wanted to pretend that he no longer had feelings for Yates. In a perfect world, they could even truly date each other.

"Mmm..." Winston hummed into their kiss, pushing a little bit away to stare at Tristan. The younger teen was just too adorable in moments like this, where he looked at him all cute and wide-eyed.

"What are we, Winston?" Unlike his other friends, Tristan actually cared to use Winston's real name. He would never call him Chewy.

Winston tried smiling despite the tension between them. "Don't overthink things, Tristan."

"I can't keep coming here and doing this. I have some self-respect."

Even Tristan knew that was a lie. He had done things a lot worse than help a friend cheat on his girlfriend. He could try pretending to be a good person, but his body knew that it wanted to be close to Winston despite everything.

"Why are you so tense?"

"I...just don't know what I'm doing here."

"You enjoy hanging out with me..." Winston paused, quickly brushing his lips against Tristan's cheek. It almost tickled. "I think you also enjoy that."

"I do..." He sighed.

"So why question it?"

"I don't get how you can't. You have a girlfriend."

Tristan didn't even want to imagine how Frankie would react to this. He didn't want to hurt her, but Winston had a pull over his heart. He couldn't resist.

"That hasn't stopped you from still pining for Miles," Winston spoke, trying to make a joke at his expense.

Tristan huffed, "I do not still pine for Miles."

He had long given up on his crush for the Hollingsworth, realizing how unrealistic it was. Miles would never return his affections...let alone like guys. Miles was meant for Maya and he had long ago accepted it.

"Yes you do." Winston stated, matter-of-factly.

"I actually 'pine' for someone else." Tristan eyed him, a little too over-dramatically but in a way that was so very Tristan. He felt that he might as well tell Winston that he liked him and wanted to have more than a fling.

"Then who? You're not still hung up on Yates are you?"

Tristan was shocked that Winston even knew he liked Yates. He couldn't imagine what would happen if he knew the full truth.

"You don't know anything about Grant." Instantly, Tristan knew that he shouldn't have said his teacher's first name.

"He's a sick man, Tristan."

"He's actually very nice...and understanding unlike some." He glared at Winston, uncomfortable with this turn in the conversation.

"Why are you defending him? He's the creeper-teacher..." Realization was slowly dawning on Winston. "You didn't..."

Tristan had to deflect this conversation. "You're the one with issues here."

"You did? You hooked up with a teacher?" The shock was practically frozen on Winston's face. Tristan could feel his own heart beating faster: afraid of how Winston would react.

"It was more than a hook up." The words slipped out. Tristan couldn't help himself. Something about being here with Winston made him way too vulnerable and willing to say so many things he shouldn't.

"He used you, Tristan."

He retorted, "Like you're using me?"

"I thought you liked what we had."

Yes, Tristan liked what they had. Winston was funny, likable, and too cute for his own good. Despite that, Tristan wanted more. He wanted a relationship and not just a fling: something more than afterschool kisses on the couch. He wanted someone to hold hands with, someone to pour his heart to.

After a year of bad relationships, he kept searching for anything that could work.

"Not when you're still dating Frankie. I can't keep making these bad decisions!" Tristan bit back a scream.

Winston remained calm. "I'm not dating Frankie...anymore."

Silence was the only response Tristan gave. He didn't know what say, or even if he should keep being angry with Winston.

"What?" He finally spoke.

"I'm not dating her anymore. I broke up with her last week."

"Why?"

Winston looked at him, trying to be reassuring. "I'm no longer interested in her. It's not that complicated."

"But why?"

"She and I both realized that we liked other people."

"If you like someone else, then what are you doing here with me?"

Their time together had been nothing but a secret fling behind Frankie's back. Winston had no reason to keep asking him to come over. He could easily move on to another girl...especially whoever he liked.

"I thought you liked...being with me." Winston seemed a little deflated.

This time, Tristan didn't overreact. Finally, he could pick up on where things were going. "Do...do you like me? And not another girl?"

"Yes." It was such a simple answer, but surprised Tristan. This was what he had wanted...but he had never expected Winston to tell him it.

"I just told you about Yates. Why would you like someone as twisted as me?" He was still conflicted about his time with his teacher. Part of him thought he would forever be ruined by Yates: that no one else would ever want him.

"I've liked you for a while, Tris. I just didn't know how to get you."

"So you started a fling with me?"

"I broke up with Frankie for you."

"You did?"

"I like you. I want to date you...despite everything. I don't like seeing you hurt and I've hated what me dating Frankie put you through." Winston reached his hand out, grasping Tristan's. He really did care.

"Really?"

"Yes, really," Winston sent him a winning smile. "I want us to be more than a fling...if you'll say yes."

"How could I say no to you?" Tristan pulled Winston into another kiss, his nerves dying down into the rhythm of their lips.

Tristan was surprised that anyone could like him. He was a broken person, whose relationships had only served to hurt him. Yates had practically destroyed him.

Yet here Winston was, letting Tristan into his life. Winston had even left his girlfriend to be with him. A casual fling had blossomed into something more: something better than all of his relationships this year.

For the first time, Tristan kissed Winston without regret or shame.

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AN: I really wasn't sure how write this pairing (and I'm sorry that I made Chewy cheat on Frankie). Again, if you want me to write a certain pairing, please reply :)

Please check out my newly updated longer stories "Angel Guts" (Hunter/Zig) and "Soft Power" (Miles/Zig).


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